she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
