the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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