you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
