Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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