She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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