dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
