$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
