Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
should my penis look like a turkey
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
