You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
