Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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