Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
