Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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