its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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