JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
