is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize