You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
