Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hippo gnu deer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
