You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
