I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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