Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize