The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
