you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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