Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
