wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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