i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wear drunk well.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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