I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
