yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
