what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
