Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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