Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
