I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize