after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
