I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you would pick up someone in the library
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
