it was like eating out sand paper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
