i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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