Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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