im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
