so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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