ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
