Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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