Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
