Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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