what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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