Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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