And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
