she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
