At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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