She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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