he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
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