he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks