Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

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(978): I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb. http://tfl.nu/h3os

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(925): View more from California

GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.

(1-925): View more from California

Wtf it's a Friday night?

(925): View more from California

PRIORITIZE.

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(925): GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007. (1-925): Wtf it's a Friday night? (925): PRIORITIZE. http://tfl.nu/9mpa

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

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(402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7

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(269): View more from Michigan

I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.

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(269): I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college. http://tfl.nu/4edw

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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(609): Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win http://tfl.nu/6ut9

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(940): View more from Texas

good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom

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(940): good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom http://tfl.nu/suhd

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(404): View more from Georgia

we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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(404): we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition? http://tfl.nu/nsp8

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(406): View more from Montana

i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.

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(406): i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/lrt6

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(937): View more from Ohio

she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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(937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb

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(914): View more from New York

Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?

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(914): Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere? http://tfl.nu/iv7s

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(226): View more from Ontario

Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

(226): View more from Ontario

Don't answer that. It is bad.

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(226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.

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(608): You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out. http://tfl.nu/pyc7

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(813): View more from Florida

I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him

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(813): I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/hd5x

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(586): View more from Michigan

Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building

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(586): Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building http://tfl.nu/p9dh

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(541): View more from Oregon

After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...

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(541): After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video... http://tfl.nu/lvkq

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