so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina