We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
