he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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