this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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