She said her name was "party"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Randomize
