Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
