Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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