It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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