I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
