i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
