i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
